Posted in Diary Entry, life update

Daily Update: Lacking Motivation, Tears and Eating My Weight in Pasta

That title is very depressing.

Wow.

I would like to say that it’s click bait but it really isn’t. This is my life today and I have to be okay with it.

Plus, the thing about blogging is that I need to be honest. Otherwise, really what’s the point. It wouldn’t be interesting if every post was, “Today I woke up and everything was perfect and my day was great. The end.”

Not at all. We are getting all up into the nitty gritty.

Today is going to work and being bored out of my wits.

Today is finally talking to my ex and trying to be friends, and it actually going well. But today is also getting a tad upset and feeling a bit lonesome and listening to sad music and the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack- to the point that Freya tells Holly that she is concerned by my spotify playlists.

But yes, I am sitting here with a plate full of pasta, some mango juice (nearly empty) and my dressing gown on.

All the while staring at a blank Word document with the word Lollard’s written on it and not a will in the earth to actually begin it.

I also have three drafts on wordpress for book and movie reviews that again I have zero motivation to actually finish.

Embrace when you’re sad. Sometimes you need to know what your body needs. So if crying down the phone to one of your best friends about it helps, if angry country music is therapeutic and food. Then just do it.

There will be other, happier days. Today isn’t one of them. But all we can do is be honest with ourselves and then get ourselves together and say chin up!

Life’s a bitch and so am I! 😉

-E xxx

Posted in life update, Student Story Time, TBR

Daily Update: Fire Alarms, Ant Infestations & TBR Lists

Hey again,

Interesting title for this one, eh? And yet it adequately sums up my day.

I awoke this morning after sleeping through three alarms and Kumar’s loud knocking on my door (I asked him to be my alarm clock) and got up at the undignified hour of 11:30.

This is what happens when I have days off…

I then proceeded to sit in bed and create yet another new blog and wrote the first part of a short story on said new blog.

Then at about 12 ish I decided it was time to get a shower, you know, because that’s what normal functioning people tend to do (except usually a lot earlier).

I was finally ready by about 1pm. Now, reader you may be wondering how on earth it teddy dancetook a gal like me roughly an hour to get ready. I could lie and say it was my hair – but I have a pixie cut so that would fail.

The reality was this. I decided to dance around my room listening to my epic “Happy Jammys” playlist on spotify singing into my hairbrush.

I will admit I have now got a bruise on my right arm from struggling to both sing along and put on my shirt. Because multi-tasking isn’t my forte and I clearly put singing along to Runaway by Del Shannon above my own safety.

Moving swiftly on from my lack of adulthood capabilities… I walked into the kitchen to grab some shopping bags only to be met with the sight of a billion *exaggeration* evil ants running along our counter.

Aaaaaaaghhh!

Admittedly, I did rage out a bit and started smacking them all with a piece of kitchen towel and a lone glass that some drunkard had left in our flat eons ago.

I then went and did my food shop at Lidl and then came back to see them pretty much gone. Until like five seconds ago, when they came back again. But it’s cool I have let Tom the security guard know and he’s going to get the exterminators in.

mahThen the fire alarm went off and I swear to gawd the world just doesn’t want me to revise today…

I did get some reading done today which leads me onto the next point of business. My TBR list.

I finished both England, England by Julian Barnes and Crossing the River this month. And I am planning to have read A Clockwork Orange and Much Ado About Nothing as well.

Well, there’s not really anything else of interest to write right now and I guess I should actually do some more work…. Uuuuuugh.

Chat soon!

 

-E xxx

 

Posted in Diary Entry, life update, Student Story Time

Daily Update: 4 am Walks and Smashing Teacups

No, the latter part of the title is not the name of some super cool band but rather the reality of my terrible waitressing skills.

*Sigh*

Today was an interestingly bland day. I woke up upside down, after topping and tailing with Natalie. I had only gotten a few hours sleep last night due to my flat mate waking me up and then not being able to go back to sleep.

So, logically that would mean the four of us- Me, Nat, Kumar and his friend all going on a walk at 4 am! I am a tad mental to say the least. But yeah it was pretty weird and short lived.

Amazingly, there was a shop still open, one of those gamer ones in which they pull all night Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments or whatever. Now, I’m not dissing them because I personally love that shop. But Kumar’s friend wanted to go in on our way back, so as we all stood outside (in coats and pjs) he went in and looked around.

The door was wide open, and as we walked round the corner of the shop to wait for him instead of by the door Kumar said, “It’s best we keep out of view, them lot will jump on a girl if they saw one.” Savage, right?!

It gets worse.

We weren’t out of earshot so everyone in the shop heard what he said and according to his friend kept giving him dirty looks as he walked back out to meet us.

Darn it!

But yes, surviving on very little sleep (and very little at work tomorrow if I don’t go to bed soon) I went into work and managed to stumble my way over everything. The clumsiness was extreme today. Three broken teacups, dropping a whole load of clean cutlery when refilling and nearly tripping over someones dog.

How am I still employed?

Anyway, I came back absolutely knackered and instead of doing work like I should have, I instead listened to sad music and watched a couple things on netflix.

I had a little cry at one point (due to the sad soppy music, sometimes you just need to let it out) and didn’t realise that Natalie had opened the window before she left earlier!

Gahhh I hope no-one heard me. But knowing my luck they probably did. Never mind.

Speak to you tomorrow, I have a book review I’m just finishing up!

 

-E xxx

Posted in Diary Entry, life update

Boxing Day; Cousins, Realisations and A Lot of Trivia

Hi guys, just thought I’d have a little check in to let you know how my day’s been. I mean technically it’s the 27th now but oh well we can pretend right.

I have had a dawning realisation since being home in this town and that’s that I’ve grownwho-cares out of a lot of things. The things that were important to me before are not anymore – not in a bad sense but just that they don’t mean life or death to me anymore as they used to.

I can live without a lot of things, I even find myself turning down social interactions just so I can crack on with my writing (you must have noticed that I’ve been a lot more active on this blog). I used to care about the number of likes and views on my blog, now I just care about the therapeutic nature of writing and having a place where I can store my life and memories.

So, what have I done today?

My Auntie and cousins came down from Coventry to visit us for boxing day and to be
honest I was a little apprehensive about the idea due to all the work I have had to do. In the end I really enjoyed going down and messing around with them all. It was a lot of fun meeting my cousins new boyfriend, chatting about anime and me lecturing them both on WW2 and literature.

(They’re both about to do their GCSE’s you see)

And joking around with my Aunt and Uncle, and chasing my little 7 year old cousin around the house- although the little sod did accidentally kick me in the throat. My friend Freya would have been impressed with his karate moves aha!

And then my parents friends Helen and Alex joined us too and we chatted about books and university life. It was incredibly fun, and then my cousins et al left and we all played trivia. Danny (brother) got peed off that he didn’t know any of the answers though and went upstairs sulkily.

Funny boy.

So yeah that’s howboxing-day my days been thus far. After that, I headed upstairs, danced to some Bowie and did some linguistic work. I was going to crack on with my Hero and Leander poem but to be honest I want a whole day to invest into researching and writing that up. And I was in the mood to get some work done whilst listening to music (something I can only do when writing notes and not when I actually have to be paying attention).

But yes, this has been my day. I could probably get through another workshop for linguistics but I’m knackered and would much rather watch some netflix and drift to sleep.

Also, I might as well document that my emotions have been a roller coaster of late and I stayed up till three am last night writing angrily in my journal and listening to The Clash.

I truly am a strange one…

-E

xxx

P.S. ^^^ This is pretty much the only thing that comes up on Google Images when you type in Boxing Day gif…

 

Posted in poetry

Poem: Stuck Record

Stuck in the same moment

My brain gets stuck in the same moment

Never ageing, never growing,

It feels like these grudges won’t let go

Of me

I bottle it up

But never set it out to sea

When will my head be free?

I’m a scrambled

Up game of cats cradle

Where do I start

When will I end?

Why don’t you try and untangle me

Run your fingers through my hair

Remind me of how it feels

To have you be there.

Because I try to let things go

I want to let the hurt dissipate

But I’m a stuck record

And I can’t change track

Unless you help me switch the Vinyl

Play some Beatles

Give me Doris Day

Anything to get the happy go lucky girl back.

Because I know you miss her

You want sunshine

And I give you clouds of grey.

You want happily ever after

Like we always talked about

But I’m a short fuse these days.

Bursts of laughter

Bursts of rage

And you’re afraid to get too close

To the ever present danger zone.

 

-E

 

 

 

Posted in Diary Entry

I Should Be Dressed Right Now.

Hi guys, I just thought I’d do a bit of an update before I go out to finish my Christmas shopping (yes I know, I am very disorganised).

I am back from uni for a little while and trying to get my life into order before January exams. You can imagine how well that’s going for me, right?

But yes, I am currently sitting on my bed procrastinating in my dressing gown and with a towel on my head. There is a ginger cat to my side and The Maine playing in the background (shout out to Holly – I know you’re reading this).

And I’m going to Kathryn’s tonight for her birthday with all the rest of the girlies and I’m feeling very nervous to say the least. I hope Beth likes her Secret Santa Gift, I did try hard. I also have to print off some pictures in town and finish off the photo album for Alex. I glitterhave become very DIY since going to university I must say. Especially after the Glitter Catastrophe that went down in the kitchen when I tried to make a backdrop for our drama assessment.

There is still glitter in that kitchen to this day. I swear to God I’m not even kidding ya.

Anyway, I just thought I’d fill you in that yes I am alive and if you haven’t been able to tell I have really been loving writing short stories of late.

beutI think I’m also going to go on to do a writing series on Shakespeare, specifically his second tetralogy seeing as that’s what I’ve got an exam in in…. exactly one month. So that’ll be Quick Tips on Richard 2nd, Henry 4th Part 1 and 2, and Henry 5th. Also all the critical theory that goes behind it. Sounds fun, right? Oh, and some reviews of the film versions too!

But anyway, I don’t know how much I’ll get to post tomorrow seeing as there’s a lot going on. But I’ll try to get something out if possible!

Speak soon,

-E

xxx

Posted in fiction, short stories

The Mage’s Tale ~ Part Three, The Ophelia Chronicles

3

“So, let me get this straight, you lost his what?” Asked Josie as she was following my life story up to this point whilst Constantine sulked behind us.

We were winding our way through the underground tunnels inside the mountain. Me leading the way with my flame in hand.

“His recipe book.” I said moping a little.

“It must have been a really important spell book to send you all the way out here…” She said to me, imagining something far more glamourous than the reality of the situation.

“Nah, it was his signed copy of the Great British Bakeoff’s Summer Treats by Mary Berry. It was quite old to be fair- back a couple of centuries when it was only humans.” I said, and saw her face fall a little bit.

“Mary who-”

Suddenly there was a loud rumble and a screeching sound. The floor shook and licks of fire started crashing down towards us.

“Aaaaaaaaghhhhhh!” The two of them screamed and began running backwards whilst I stood there calmly.

“What the hell are you doing! Run you nutcase!” Constantine screamed out in rage and bewilderment.

I concentrated and pulled out my staff, I raised it and thought of the fire as waves of water in the ocean. I thought of the chaos of the sea, the way it rose above me, and the heat that surrounded and enclosed me dulled in temperature before being doused completely.

My body had become 100% water in that instant as it swirled around and got rid of the flames.  I stretched and my physique became more solid, moving from the form of water, to ice, to stone and then finally I was me again.

I stood, exhausted in front of the two of them as they again gaped at me.

“What is it that you two can do again, I think I’d like to know just in case a situation like that occurs again. Cause damn am I knackered.” I said, holding my hips and breathing fast.

“Well, I can world bend and shapeshift.” Said Josie smiling cheerfully.

I turned to look at Constantine, his aura telling me that he felt embarrassed after the previous attack.

“I’m a black magic wielder as you already know, so I can control minds and create illusions. Along with a lot of other unpleasant things that I don’t wish to do or go into.” He said coldly, looking at me with a face that said he didn’t want to talk about it.

“As if taking control of someone’s mind wasn’t unpleasant enough.” I muttered.

With that we carried on until we reached a point where the path dwindled into a thin sheet of ice that had been burnt through. We all stooped to evaluate the dead end.

“Well now what? Got anything for this then Miss Know It All? This is why we were in that portal, because there’s no way to get out until that thing is dead.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong Mr Doom and Gloom,” I retorted as I begun stripping my clothes off and taking all my weapons out.

“Wait what’re you doing?” He asked uneasily turning away in mortification.

I turned to Josie, “You can shapeshift into anything, right? Because I’m going to need you to turn into something amphibious and come in after me, when I give you the signal create a portal. A strong one that resembles a prison.” I was now down to my undershirt and underwear. I knew I’d look back at this moment in time and cringe but until then this needed to be done.

Gary sure as heck wasn’t getting his damn crystals that was for sure. I just wanted to get out of this place and get wasted in a tavern somewhere.

I turned towards Constantine to see him with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He seemed impressed with my willpower and lack of hopelessness.

“Well, if this is happening I guess I might as well ask how I can be of use?” He smirked and I looked at him and smiled.

“Glad to see you’re on board with the plan. Here’s the difficult bit, I need you to convince that huge ass dragon that I’m it’s mother.”

“Aaaah.” He replied and I could see him immediately regretting his decision.

I started to unwind one of the many braids in my hair and chucked him a vial that was attached to one of the threads in it. Yes, I know what you’re thinking I am both fashionable and functional.

I chucked it to him.

“Here drink this, it’ll allow you to breath for exactly ten minutes after consumption. We’ll need to be quick about this or we’ll all be dead.” His face changed from bemusement to fear in an instant as we all stood around and stared into the glittering blue pool that led to the sea dragons lair. Both a land and water animal, it made our odds annoyingly low but that just made our task more the thrilling.

“3….2….1…JUMP!” We all yelled together as we jumped into the water. There was a flash and I became one with the water, my body was a mere outline as merged into the element before then reforming into something more physical and water borne.

I twisted to sea Josie transformed into…. A mermaid, of course. And Constantine was in front of the both of us, edged in darkness I watched as we all approached the Dragon’s underwater lair.

There was a shake and then the beast emerged and screeched. It was a shame it was so aggressive because in truth it was beautiful. With silver scales and piercing amber eyes it was smaller than expected. I thought all this as it came thundering towards us, like a serpent it glided through the water easily and opened its mouth wide revealing its large white fangs.

I watched as Constantine dived at the beast, wrapping it in octopus like tendrils of darkness. It stopped and its eyes glazed over, making me think that he had killed it for a split second.

He turned towards me and motioned me forward, I did so and watched as he cast the black shadow over my body. Suddenly, the dragon was no more than the size of my hand, I felt motherly tenderness wash over me as its beauty became more apparent.

I don’t know how long I was in a trance for but when I came around I realised that the now tame dragon was being ushered towards Josie’s portal. The edges of my mind were being eaten away at by the shadows. And the strain was evident on both Constantine’s and Josie’s parts. And yet for some odd reason I felt myself getting closer and closer to the dragon.

She was awe-inspiring and her name suddenly came to my mind, although I couldn’t quite translate it into this language. Something had happened, we had become one for a second and I couldn’t quite differentiate myself from her. I was floating closer to her.

Constantine saw what I was about to do and tried to stop it, but he was low on air as the spell started to cease to work.

It was too late, I rested my hand against her forehead and there was a burst of silver light that encompassed us all.

And that’s when I passed out.

END OF PART THREE

Image credit: http://sirtiefling.deviantart.com/art/Stardazzle-369409785