I want that roller coaster feel
My emotions to be spilling out at the seams
To be on the edge of my seat
Like a terrible 80’s horror movie.
I don’t want to settle into a repetitive sequence
Taking on the same morbid role
As a piece of factory machinery
Which like an ever slowing pulse
Thuds, and thuds, and thuds eternally.
I want to be everything that youth stands for.
I want to be wild and loud
Not to be constantly second guessing my actions.
Wondering about work, putting off plans.
I want my fight or flight instincts to kick in
I want that adrenaline rush-
-And I’m going out there to get it.
P.s. Just a little something to kick off the New Year 😉
Stuck in the same moment
My brain gets stuck in the same moment
Never ageing, never growing,
It feels like these grudges won’t let go
I bottle it up
But never set it out to sea
When will my head be free?
I’m a scrambled
Up game of cats cradle
Where do I start
When will I end?
Why don’t you try and untangle me
Run your fingers through my hair
Remind me of how it feels
To have you be there.
Because I try to let things go
I want to let the hurt dissipate
But I’m a stuck record
And I can’t change track
Unless you help me switch the Vinyl
Play some Beatles
Give me Doris Day
Anything to get the happy go lucky girl back.
Because I know you miss her
You want sunshine
And I give you clouds of grey.
You want happily ever after
Like we always talked about
But I’m a short fuse these days.
Bursts of laughter
Bursts of rage
And you’re afraid to get too close
To the ever present danger zone.
Christmas time, when all the children are grown up
And the parents are being spoilt for a change.
When you sleep through the stocking being placed in your room
Whereas years before you were up at the start of day.
When you walk downstairs
And smell the dinner cooking
The coffee brewing
And everyone in one room – for once.
And the dinner table, laid with white, gold and red.
The streams of alcohol, freely flowing
And your mother glowing with pride
At her perfectly crisp roasties.
The Christmas crackers, terrible jokes, bad trivia games
And much much more.
These are all a part of this time of year.
No matter how much older we all get-
We’ll always reunite here.
via Daily Prompt: Jump
It would seem to me in a matter of ways
I will be jumping into a new life
In a couple of days.
Out with the old
And in with the new.
I want to let go of the things in my past
And run, run far away
And never look back.
Ignorance is bliss
Change is scary
I’m taking a risk
But I won’t let the past bury me.
Lost in translation
That defines these conversations.
A dead end and problematic to no end.
So I created a new language
One that made more sense to me
Than the years of guilt and animosity .
I just feel bored when they talk.
In their foreign tongue
When they argue
I slip away to another world.
I don’t need to be reminded who I am in your eyes.
I’m still me
And I know exactly where my heart lies.
I used to think that shedding skin
Was such an evil twisted thing
Because that’s what they told me
So that’s what I thought.
The product they sold me
Was the product I bought.
Shedding skin leaves you vulnerable
Yes, this year having a tough shell is in.
Why be vulnerable
When you can be defensive?
Why would you willingly let everyone in?
Those with hard skin will often find
Old stubborn woes
That long should have been left behind.
New skin means rebirth
What is the point in letting old conflicts brew?
Again all the news I seem to receive these days appears to be negative. I want to stop this in it’s tracks and stop feeling so frightened of my thoughts and feelings and instead rather embrace them. Look out for another post in the very near future because I want to start a movement inspired by my friend Kerry.
Stay tuned and stay happy!
Difficult people doing difficult things
Requires awkward manoeuvres
Because they think themselves Kings.
I’m not a difficult women
So I can’t play their games
I was raised by my mother
Not by snakes on a plane.
Mean spirited people have a chip on their shoulder
Or rather a huge weight of nastiness
That they try to smother you under.
All of this said we need to put them in place
By thwarting their negativity
With smiles and joy
So we can try and erase.
Needless to say I’ve been dealing with difficult people all my life, sometimes the only way to beat them is to carry on enjoying life and not showing them that they’ve won. I had a bad day today – like REALLY bad – I wish I could go into more detail. In which around every corner seemed to be someone trying to drag me down when I was trying to have a positive attitude. I let it out, cried a bit on the phone with my friend whom was having similar woes and then we chuckled all night long.