Posted in Diary Entry, life update, Student Story Time

Student Story: Awkward Time at the GP

Hey there guys,

I have two film reviews that are underway but in the meantime I thought it might be fun to relay my experience at the Uni GP the other day.tmi

It ย was quite a unique experience to say the very least.

So I apologise in advance if anything I am about to post is TMI but this is the trigger warning right here.

Still with me? Okay then, moving on…

For about two weeks I had been suffering with a UTI- if you don’t know what that means and need some clarification it basically felt like I was pissing fire everytime I went to the bathroom.

This is why I have the trigger warning.

I put it off and did every trick in the book- drank tonnes of water, bought health salts, avoided citrus, drank water and baking powder yada yada yada.

But nadda. Nothing. Nope.

So I caved and called the GP on campus and explained the situation, cringing the entire time.

And weirdly, they offered me an emergency appointment for that very day.
I am still pretty sure that emergency appointments should really be for more important things than urine infections, but then again the sooner I got the problem sorted the better really.

The latest appointment for that day though was halfway through my 2 hour lecture. So I went for half of it and got up and walked out half way through. Now this wouldn’t be a problem had it not been for the fact that the lecture had taken a long time to start due to technical problems.

So when I got up and awks-mermwalked out, everyone looked at me with shock, thinking I had enough. I even heard one person go “Oh shit!” and was later called “savage” by a girl in my seminar.

And to make things worse there are about 300+ people in my lectures.

Moving onto more awkward things… When I entered the GP’s office I was pretty much expecting to relay the problem, do a urine sample and get some antibiotics.

Which happened, but so did a lot of other things. Such as my GP getting all up in my sex life and even offering alternative positions etc.

“Now is your boyfriend always the one on top?” Hmmmmm… this is something I doubt I would tell my closest friends let alone a middle aged woman I had known for t-minus five minutes.

And then after asking about periods etc. She clapped her hands together and suggested I do a pregnancy test?!

Aaaaaagh! Can you imagine the panic? But I did the urine sample (I was so nervous walking to the bathrooms that I almost entered the mens, and then had to walk back holding the vial of wee) and then got my urine results.

As in she told me yes I did have a urine infection… And then she paused for a while. Now I was sitting on the edge of my seat because although I knew that THERE WAS A VERY VERY MINUTE POSSIBILITY I was still crapping myself waiting.

“Oh I forgot to say, you’re all clear- not pregnant.”

I almost collapsed onto the floor with relief. Even so, the way the nurse said it was kind of like lol I forgot to tell you everything’s fine.

Then I got given a whole lot of leaflets about birth control and was lectured again on how UTI’s were very common for girls in long distance relationships. And I kid you not her reasoning was that it’s because “You don’t see each other for ages and then when you do it’s just sex sex sex!” And then she banned me from doing the do for a while.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

But yes, that was my awkward student story time for this week. It was quite funny looking back and props to the lovely nurse for getting straight to the point. She was a lad.

Also, in case you were wondering (you probably weren’t and are more remalificent-awksgretting ever reading this post) I no longer have a UTI. Which I feel isn’t just a load off of my shoulders but also my friends.

Holly and Jack are testament to this as when we were in the library the other day they watched me get up and go to the toilet at least 5 times in an hour. To make things worse, the meds had a side effect of colouring the urine, so I would report back to them on the changing colours.

Nobody needed to know any of this.

I am sorry for anyone who made it to the end.

But ohhhh well! Talk more tomorrow!

-E xxx

 

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Posted in poetry

Poem: Stuck Record

Stuck in the same moment

My brain gets stuck in the same moment

Never ageing, never growing,

It feels like these grudges won’t let go

Of me

I bottle it up

But never set it out to sea

When will my head be free?

I’m a scrambled

Up game of cats cradle

Where do I start

When will I end?

Why don’t you try and untangle me

Run your fingers through my hair

Remind me of how it feels

To have you be there.

Because I try to let things go

I want to let the hurt dissipate

But I’m a stuck record

And I can’t change track

Unless you help me switch the Vinyl

Play some Beatles

Give me Doris Day

Anything to get the happy go lucky girl back.

Because I know you miss her

You want sunshine

And I give you clouds of grey.

You want happily ever after

Like we always talked about

But I’m a short fuse these days.

Bursts of laughter

Bursts of rage

And you’re afraid to get too close

To the ever present danger zone.

 

-E

 

 

 

Posted in Diary Entry

Broken Laptops, Bartending and A Korean Movie About A Girl Who Thought She Was A Robot.

From the title you can probably guess that today’s been quite weird.

I know my activity on this blog has been pretty much non-existent since coming to University but that’s honestly just because there has been no time for anything. It would also seem that everything good and everything horribly bad is systematically happening all at once.ย monsters-university-o

For instance, as I am typing this my laptop is currently flickering like a dodgy light shade and I’m on my period.

TMI? Sorry, but I tend to speak my mind if you haven’t already guessed. So yes, where was I? I headed back from visiting Alex in Coventry today- and grabbed the coach at 9:25 am. That is, after having a huge panic that I’d woken up late when in fact the clocks had just gone back an hour. Or is it forward…. anyway it meant that I was in fact early instead of incredibly late.

It does mean that I am missing Alex a lot right now though, especially knowing that I have no-one to wake up to in the morning.

That is, other than my six other flat mates I suppose. But you get what I mean. We also met up with James and Deed as well as James’ flat mate Juan whom I think considers himself a bit of a heart throb from what I’ve heard hehe.

bennSo yes it was very nice and very odd seeing everyone (we went to go see the movie Dr. Strange which has rekindled my love of Benedict Cumberbatch and then headed out for pizza afterwards leaving Juan to get a bus home to study.

Oh no my laptop’s glitching again which is pretty annoying but I guess I’m just going to have to live with it until it gets fixed.

Oh yeah! That’s the other thing, I ended up having a job interview today and went to the completely wrong place by accident.And apparently I start next Friday which is both good/ bad because it means yay to money but boo because I was meant to go home for my birthday that weekend and now I can’t.

Gosh I’m really missing home at the moment. Like really really and Tango I miss him as well. But I can’t really say no to Mr. Boss man because otherwise he’ll give the job to someone else. At least if nothing else I was told he preferred me because I sounded smiley on the phone.

As for the last part of this strangely complex day, I ended up going to the alternative movie societies’ screening (Dark Celluloid is there name) to watch a Korean movie where a girl i-am-a-cyborgthinks she’s a cyborg and refuses to eat and then a guy who hops around wearing a rabbit mask helps her and they both fall in love.

There was also a funny scene concerning some flying socks.

So yeah, my laptop is breaking, I’m struggling to catch up with the work I’ve missed since swapping from joint to single honours, I have a million books to read, a DBS form to fill out and a bartending job which I’m praying I won’t screw up and life is just feeling rather odd to be honest.

I think I’ll crack on with work tomorrow and fill you in on Tuesday hopefully.

-E