Posted in Diary Entry, life update

Update: Back Again!

Hi everybody!

I am writing this on a rare day that I am not at work!  Isn’t that fun? I thought I would give you a brief update before I head out to commence today’s long awaited chores. So, without further ado here’s where I’ve been and what you’ve got to look forward too on this blog.

I have been in Brighton from the 1st of August till the 8th and then from the 9th till the 13th have been non-stop working. My time has been equally taken up with evenings filled with seeing friends and watching live broadcasts from the RSC at our local cinema. As well, my dad’s birthday is coming up and I have decided to write a short story for him about the war.

So, as you can see I have had a lot on my plate. But here are some upcoming posts to look forward too.

  1. My time in Brighton, specifically visiting Virginia Woolf’s house and my experience there.
  2. A review on Dodie Smith’s ‘I Capture the Castle’ (I am super excited to talk about it).
  3. Another review on Titus Andronicus.
  4. My TBR list (University Reading List mainly).
  5. Daily updates on my shenanigans.
  6. Another review on Angela Carter’s ‘Nights at the Circus’ which I am currently a short way off finishing (I may have put it down after becoming a tad obsessed with Smith’s book).
  7. A review on Laura Marling’s music.
  8. How To Prep for University.

My focus for the last week or so has been on finishing off a journal of mine which was quite time consuming but great practice when it comes to writing. That’s all finished now (I wrote 43 pages in about two and a half days) so I feel very accomplished and can now spend a bit more time on this and my other blogs.

Anyway, I am already behind schedule so should crack on with getting to the bank.

Goodbye for now!

-E

 

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Posted in Diary Entry

Diary Entry: 7th July- Hikes, Letters and Getting Personal

I’m in quite a panicky horrible state of mind at the moment and thought that writing would hopefully get me out of this state of mind.

Here goes. A big part of my world is to do with associations. Both negative and positive, for instance sun cream and BBQ smoke both connote happy and light thoughts. On the other hand, I have a big problem at the moment where I am scared of certain objects, scents, feelings and people. If I relate them to a negative instance then I just complete avoid them. For instance I’m a big Shakespeare fan but I have become incapable of reading any o of his works this Summer because they make me look back on past exam failings.

Even just writing that made my heart leap a little bit.

Another weird thing is that I feel guilty- all the time! Does that even make sense?

And I guess the cherry on top of this whole thing would be that today I received a letter from a service offering me behavioural cognitive therapy to get me out of this horrible state and to be honest I’m kind of scared about it.

I don’t want to delve into that place… At all. And especially not with a stranger.

But onto happier thoughts. I dragged Alex out to go on a hike yesterday. That might explain the short story I wrote yesterday. Of course I wasn’t really wearing a red dress but rather a red top, high waisted jeans and converse. Close enough eh?

Basically we went up the downs near us, me set with my backpack containing a billion things that we might need (but actually didn’t). And I got sun burnt.

But we say sheep and flowers and the tree cathedral – where we had one of our first dates. And basically it was really fun and I snacked on cheese strings. Although I nearly got us killed walking down a main road and sadly I did indeed actually see a dead bunny.

I think I’ll insert some pictures and you guys will get a sneak peek of my life (disclaimer: despite profile my hair is no longer white but brown).

And a funny thing is that after being outside for the first time in forever, Alex actually got ill the next day! That’s proof enough that he needs to get outside more!

But yes we had a fun little adventure full of fields, sheep, dogs and sunshine.

We’re dog sitting next week so there will probably be a lot of regular blogs on the little escapades that we get up to!

To summarise, moods are still swinging, the future still appears to be impending doom and I can’t stop listening to Bring Me The Horizon which is odd because I’m normally a Taylor Swift kinda gal.

 

Sincerely,

E

xxx

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Diary Entry~ 29th June

Hey guys, today has been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, to be completely unoriginal. As I’m writing this I am still in my dressing gown, my rooms a tip and I have achieved next to nothing today.

As an update, I finally talked to Alex today and cleared the air. We talked a lot (actually technically I’m still on Skype with him whilst writing this entry) and now we understand each other.

There were some tears but I’m feeling a lot better about everything. I haven’t had a panic attack today which is good, but I am still unable to sleep.

Uuuuugh my to- do list is ever growing though!

Things Esther has to do today:

  • Write a chapter on Wattpad.
  • Gardening
  • Clean my room
  • Organise my clothes
  • Write a poem on this blog
  • Make dinner
  • Put the washing out
  • Take a bubble bath
  • Sort out feet for prom
  • Wear a face mask
  • Jog
  • Read
  • Draft out new story on Wattpad
  • Draft  out following chapters
  • Make hair appointment.
  • Finish Future Learn course.
  • List of top favourite animes to watch!

Something tells me I’m going to stuggle getting all this done today but oh well. I think some other posts on this blog other than these entries and poetry will probably include essays on writers and historical information as well as book reviews….

I just need to keep myself busy!

Anyway if I get my chapter out today at the very least I’ll feel good about things. Lets get motivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaated!

Lots of love and jelly tots,

E

xxx