Posted in life update, Student Story Time, TBR

Daily Update: Fire Alarms, Ant Infestations & TBR Lists

Hey again,

Interesting title for this one, eh? And yet it adequately sums up my day.

I awoke this morning after sleeping through three alarms and Kumar’s loud knocking on my door (I asked him to be my alarm clock) and got up at the undignified hour of 11:30.

This is what happens when I have days off…

I then proceeded to sit in bed and create yet another new blog and wrote the first part of a short story on said new blog.

Then at about 12 ish I decided it was time to get a shower, you know, because that’s what normal functioning people tend to do (except usually a lot earlier).

I was finally ready by about 1pm. Now, reader you may be wondering how on earth it teddy dancetook a gal like me roughly an hour to get ready. I could lie and say it was my hair – but I have a pixie cut so that would fail.

The reality was this. I decided to dance around my room listening to my epic “Happy Jammys” playlist on spotify singing into my hairbrush.

I will admit I have now got a bruise on my right arm from struggling to both sing along and put on my shirt. Because multi-tasking isn’t my forte and I clearly put singing along to Runaway by Del Shannon above my own safety.

Moving swiftly on from my lack of adulthood capabilities… I walked into the kitchen to grab some shopping bags only to be met with the sight of a billion *exaggeration* evil ants running along our counter.

Aaaaaaaghhh!

Admittedly, I did rage out a bit and started smacking them all with a piece of kitchen towel and a lone glass that some drunkard had left in our flat eons ago.

I then went and did my food shop at Lidl and then came back to see them pretty much gone. Until like five seconds ago, when they came back again. But it’s cool I have let Tom the security guard know and he’s going to get the exterminators in.

mahThen the fire alarm went off and I swear to gawd the world just doesn’t want me to revise today…

I did get some reading done today which leads me onto the next point of business. My TBR list.

I finished both England, England by Julian Barnes and Crossing the River this month. And I am planning to have read A Clockwork Orange and Much Ado About Nothing as well.

Well, there’s not really anything else of interest to write right now and I guess I should actually do some more work…. Uuuuuugh.

Chat soon!

 

-E xxx

 

Posted in Diary Entry, life update, Student Story Time

Daily Update: 4 am Walks and Smashing Teacups

No, the latter part of the title is not the name of some super cool band but rather the reality of my terrible waitressing skills.

*Sigh*

Today was an interestingly bland day. I woke up upside down, after topping and tailing with Natalie. I had only gotten a few hours sleep last night due to my flat mate waking me up and then not being able to go back to sleep.

So, logically that would mean the four of us- Me, Nat, Kumar and his friend all going on a walk at 4 am! I am a tad mental to say the least. But yeah it was pretty weird and short lived.

Amazingly, there was a shop still open, one of those gamer ones in which they pull all night Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments or whatever. Now, I’m not dissing them because I personally love that shop. But Kumar’s friend wanted to go in on our way back, so as we all stood outside (in coats and pjs) he went in and looked around.

The door was wide open, and as we walked round the corner of the shop to wait for him instead of by the door Kumar said, “It’s best we keep out of view, them lot will jump on a girl if they saw one.” Savage, right?!

It gets worse.

We weren’t out of earshot so everyone in the shop heard what he said and according to his friend kept giving him dirty looks as he walked back out to meet us.

Darn it!

But yes, surviving on very little sleep (and very little at work tomorrow if I don’t go to bed soon) I went into work and managed to stumble my way over everything. The clumsiness was extreme today. Three broken teacups, dropping a whole load of clean cutlery when refilling and nearly tripping over someones dog.

How am I still employed?

Anyway, I came back absolutely knackered and instead of doing work like I should have, I instead listened to sad music and watched a couple things on netflix.

I had a little cry at one point (due to the sad soppy music, sometimes you just need to let it out) and didn’t realise that Natalie had opened the window before she left earlier!

Gahhh I hope no-one heard me. But knowing my luck they probably did. Never mind.

Speak to you tomorrow, I have a book review I’m just finishing up!

 

-E xxx

Posted in Student Story Time, Uncategorized

Student Story Time: Clubs- The Good, The Bad and The Drunk

This is a special sort of Student Story Time as this is going to be a mish mash of stories I’ve heard as well as what I have witnessed at clubs. I’ve been going out quite a bit lately and so okaythese stories have been accumulating for a while and some are being used in my latest short story.

First things first I went to an event called Crisis a couple of weeks and goddamn was it an interesting night. My friend N (That’s what I will call her because a lot of these stories include her) got very pissed at prinks and proceeded to shoot around like a helium balloon that’s been let go of.

That is an accurate description of her energy I think.

On the bus into the city she drunk messaged her mum – whose in Malaysia by the way- and me being a good friend did damage control to reduce the amount of worrying on her mothers part. I responded pretending to be N and lied, saying that a drunk friend had gotten her phone. I am a good friend *pats own back*

After that, I had to convince N that getting into the club was actually a drama assessment and that she had to pass it, I even told her that one of our old drama teachers was going to be on the door as one of the bouncers! She was so drunk that this was the only way of getting her in, otherwise she was going to get kicked out for being too drunk.

The night then proceeded of her dashing around the place, me losing her, me doing one too many tequila shots getting bumped by someone at the bar and spitting the shot out all over the bartender.

I also fell down the stairs that night and still have bruised knees as well as I got asked if I wanted to go home with a random guy. I told him nope and that I was going to continue with my terrible dancing – to which he then responded saying that I wasn’t bad and that he had been watching me all night.

Creep alert.

drunkAlso this is how you know how drunk I am- when the slut dropping comes out to play. Don’t worry guys and gals it was only with my close friend Holly and was funny as heck.

When I got back (N got kicked out so I went back with her flat mates- I was staying at hers) she was crawling on the floor with nothing but her top and underwear on and asking us all if we could see her underwear.

I told you she was pissed.

And then there’s the run down on her snap chat – N with her head bleeding from hitting it on the side of her bedside table, N in the shower – fully clothed, N racing C on campus when drunk… and it goes on and on…

But yes that’s that story. Then there’s the weekend that just passed and the funnest prinks that I think I’ve ever had. There is photographic evidence of me picking up Freya and swinging her around and Ian doing the same but with Alex. Yes, ladies and gents my anti-social club hating boyf actually came out for a night on the town!

There was a lot of falling over involved on that night and a lot of 90s/ 2000s music going around. But me and Alex came back early and therefore missed the messy end of the night which seems to always occur (nothing too bad just drunkenness).drunkwinegame-of-thrones

The final prominent memory from drunk nights out would be that which occurred on Friday night when I went out with Molly and all of her Science pals.

It was a memorable night for lots of reasons, Molly’s poor attempt to queue skip, being rained on lots, people getting kicked out of Spoons…

But the starring moment was that when one of the guys randomly got his balls out in our kitchen and our good ol’ friend Liv walked in and saw them when everyone else had looked away.

Yes that happened.

So there you go ladies and gents. A student story time special! You’re either laughing right now or sitting there tutting and vowing that you will never drink again for fear that similar fates await you.

Ta ta for now!

-E xxx

Posted in life update, Overheard in Flat 19 Quotes, Student Story Time

Overheard in Flat 19 – Funny Quotes From University Halls

Hi everyone,

Today I have a different kind of post that was kind of spur of the moment.

So, I have been told off for not featuring my flat mates more on this blog and therefore have decided to introduce the entire bloggerverse to the Great Wall of Flat 19 (no, not China).

The Quote Wall was something that we came up as a flat to torture those innocent flat mates (mainly David) for saying silly things. They get written down and dated but the name of the speaker is never revealed, and passers by who come and visit from other flats etc. have to guess who said what.

Today I will only be giving you a slither of my favourites (and by the way I have been featured on the wall too). Some of these things have to be considered completely out of context too.

Without further ado, here are the top quotes

Arden Shakespeare… is he Shakespeare’s brother?

-24th October 2016- Said when I came back from shopping having picked up a couple of new books from Oxfam. One of them being an Arden (publisher) addition of Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale. I will concede and tell you that Naveedh is the person who said this.

Speaker 1: I’m not ready for his package.

Speaker 2: No one ever is

This is the newest one on the wall, and not dated unfortunately. I believe this was in regard to the mail- but who knows my flat is pretty crazy.

Aren’t plants animals?!

This one came from Kat, an anomaly in the mix and I am proud to say that this is her only addition to the Great Wall of Flat 19’s Quotes.

Speaker 1: We could catch the 5:34 bus

Speaker 2: What time’s the 5:34 bus?

Said on a drunken night out. Again a conversation between Naveedh and Monty. To this day Naveedh contests that he simply thought that Monty was talking in terms of the bus’ number but I don’t believe him…

You would need  a tranquilliser to get me into bed.

Yes, I know a very questionable sentence – and again this came from Naveedh (are you starting to see a pattern here?)

I would believe you even if you told me the sky was blue!

Okay. *sighs* This one MAY have been me. It was. But let me just clarify that it was night time when this was said and the sky was pitch black. But yes, I still know how silly it sounds.

It feels like Naveedh is inside of me.

This is Kumar’s one and only quote on the board. And he himself would like you all to know that the original quote is actually missing (yeah right). To give some context I believe Naveedh simply said exactly what was on Kumar’s mind at the time.

And our final quote  *drum roll*

If you ever need someone to try on your tights, my pants will come right off!

Can you guess who said it? Yes, that’s right Naveedh again. He was very very drunk at the time and came into my room when me and some other people were putting away my tights. I jokingly said he could wear them if he wanted and thinking himself Robin Hood at the time… well this was what left his mouth… Oh dear….

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this humorous post. I have plenty more quotes than that as well so I might do another post like this (at my poor flatmates expense but also at my own).

I also have two more reviews on there way, that I will be posting within the next two days. One of them is La La Land (BOOOOOOTIFUL) and the other is Kwaidan a 1964 Japanese horror anthology movie.

I promise I will actually do some book reviews too at some point, just degree reading has been putting me behind in that aspect.

Thanks for reading!

-E xxx

 

 

Posted in Diary Entry, life update, Student Story Time

Student Story: Awkward Time at the GP

Hey there guys,

I have two film reviews that are underway but in the meantime I thought it might be fun to relay my experience at the Uni GP the other day.tmi

It  was quite a unique experience to say the very least.

So I apologise in advance if anything I am about to post is TMI but this is the trigger warning right here.

Still with me? Okay then, moving on…

For about two weeks I had been suffering with a UTI- if you don’t know what that means and need some clarification it basically felt like I was pissing fire everytime I went to the bathroom.

This is why I have the trigger warning.

I put it off and did every trick in the book- drank tonnes of water, bought health salts, avoided citrus, drank water and baking powder yada yada yada.

But nadda. Nothing. Nope.

So I caved and called the GP on campus and explained the situation, cringing the entire time.

And weirdly, they offered me an emergency appointment for that very day.
I am still pretty sure that emergency appointments should really be for more important things than urine infections, but then again the sooner I got the problem sorted the better really.

The latest appointment for that day though was halfway through my 2 hour lecture. So I went for half of it and got up and walked out half way through. Now this wouldn’t be a problem had it not been for the fact that the lecture had taken a long time to start due to technical problems.

So when I got up and awks-mermwalked out, everyone looked at me with shock, thinking I had enough. I even heard one person go “Oh shit!” and was later called “savage” by a girl in my seminar.

And to make things worse there are about 300+ people in my lectures.

Moving onto more awkward things… When I entered the GP’s office I was pretty much expecting to relay the problem, do a urine sample and get some antibiotics.

Which happened, but so did a lot of other things. Such as my GP getting all up in my sex life and even offering alternative positions etc.

“Now is your boyfriend always the one on top?” Hmmmmm… this is something I doubt I would tell my closest friends let alone a middle aged woman I had known for t-minus five minutes.

And then after asking about periods etc. She clapped her hands together and suggested I do a pregnancy test?!

Aaaaaagh! Can you imagine the panic? But I did the urine sample (I was so nervous walking to the bathrooms that I almost entered the mens, and then had to walk back holding the vial of wee) and then got my urine results.

As in she told me yes I did have a urine infection… And then she paused for a while. Now I was sitting on the edge of my seat because although I knew that THERE WAS A VERY VERY MINUTE POSSIBILITY I was still crapping myself waiting.

“Oh I forgot to say, you’re all clear- not pregnant.”

I almost collapsed onto the floor with relief. Even so, the way the nurse said it was kind of like lol I forgot to tell you everything’s fine.

Then I got given a whole lot of leaflets about birth control and was lectured again on how UTI’s were very common for girls in long distance relationships. And I kid you not her reasoning was that it’s because “You don’t see each other for ages and then when you do it’s just sex sex sex!” And then she banned me from doing the do for a while.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

But yes, that was my awkward student story time for this week. It was quite funny looking back and props to the lovely nurse for getting straight to the point. She was a lad.

Also, in case you were wondering (you probably weren’t and are more remalificent-awksgretting ever reading this post) I no longer have a UTI. Which I feel isn’t just a load off of my shoulders but also my friends.

Holly and Jack are testament to this as when we were in the library the other day they watched me get up and go to the toilet at least 5 times in an hour. To make things worse, the meds had a side effect of colouring the urine, so I would report back to them on the changing colours.

Nobody needed to know any of this.

I am sorry for anyone who made it to the end.

But ohhhh well! Talk more tomorrow!

-E xxx

 

Posted in Diary Entry, Student Story Time

Student Story Time: A Not So Sober Night

I really need my titles to be a tad more inventive.

Oh well it sums it up quite nicely don’t you think?

Basically in true student fashion I experienced some horrifying flash backs to a drunken night that happened the Friday before last night that my brain had been trying desperately to conceal from me for as long as possible.drunk-meme

Thanks brain *pats head* but we all knew this day would come.

So let me fill you guys in. It was Friday Booze Night as my flat mate Molly likes to say (every nights booze night to her though so don’t be fooled into thinking this was a special occasion) and everyone was congregating in our kitchen when I broke out the wine. Now, I had a bad day and so in true Esther fashion popped down to the Sainsbury’s and picked out the highest percent but cheapest wine there.

It was no Tesco Straw Hat* believe you me! This stuff was very very rancid so I applaud myself for drinking as much of it as I did.

But then I noticed out of the corner of my eye Sonia breaking out her precious Fireball whisky. Hmmmm went my brain as I sneakily poured myself some.

Anyone who knows me understands that I have the sweetest tooth known to mankind – let’s be honest my working at a newsagents for two years probably didn’t help the matter and my parents have in fact informed me that since leaving they have saved a lot of money on granulated sugar.

gotSo, we all know how this story is going to go. I downed lots of whisky, went a bit crazy, my flat mate Naveedh had to hide the alcohol from me and has videos of me falling all over the place as you do.

And then the nausea hit me. Like a tonne of bricks. I flew to the toilet and proceeded to throw up. I still shiver at the thought of me touching that disgusting communal toilet. After that I flopped to the ground and Naveedh and Ian proceeded to lift me up and the others tried to get too my room in one piece.

Then Molly let loose her battle cry, “Spooooooooooooooooooooons!”

At those words my head sprung up- and all of a sudden I was determined to make it to Spoons.

Olyvia struggled against me as I tried to get past her to join Molly on her drunken journey to the pub. But Olyvia was having none of it. After thirty seconds of struggling she threw wallme and I “rag dolled” as we are now calling and flew through the air and hit my head against the concrete wall.

This part I remember very clearly, I blacked out for about five seconds and came too to the familiar voices around me.

“She’s dead, you killed her!” Naveedh exclaimed.

To which Olyvia amusingly replied, “Nah she’s fine, she’s still breathing.”

I awoke after that and the rest of the night was characterised by a lot of upchucking- I refuse to say chundered- and lots of honest talking, bawling and laughing on my part. Most of which I don’t remember and wish for it to stay that way.

The next day I was going on a day out with the knitting society to Bakewell and lets just say I woke up wondering why I was wearing a bambi nighty with pikachu shorts…

My fashion sense when drunk clearly isn’t the best to say the least.

-E

P.S. This might become a new segment on my blog of all the weird things that have happened to me as a student. I’m going clubbing next Tuesday for my birthday and I’m certain that there will definitely be a story there.